Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Choices...



Choices are important. Choices are essential. Choices are worth fighting for.

Choices.

Sometimes having too many choices can cause stress. I always gave my children two choices when they were little.

"Do you want water or milk with dinner?"
"Would you like me to read you a book or draw a picture?"

If you just say "What would you like to do?" it opens the door for some very indecisive and disruptive behavior. I wish things were that simple as an adult.

I was raised in a society where women having choices was essential. It was important. It was worth fighting for. I would never want anyone to take away my right to make a choice. I have to be honest though, as a woman that is a mother, sometimes these choices make life really hard.

Along with the tons and tons of good things that come from staying home, you also have guilt for not working and contributing to the financial things your family needs to survive.

Guilt for putting it all on your husband to bring home the bacon.

Guilt for not using your education you worked so hard to get.

There are feelings of inadequacy.

Feelings of not being able to carry on a conversation at a Christmas party without it turning to butt cream and diaper rash.

When you work outside of the home, you have equally alarming feelings of guilt.

Guilt for missing the first word.

Guilt for leaving your child at a daycare for hours and hours.

Worry that your child is somehow going to be affected negatively for not having one of the parents at home.

As a woman, this pretty much all falls on you. You can't win most of the time because you are going to beat yourself up either way. There is no right answer. You do what is right for your family at the time. You do what makes you happy as well as your children. We have no way of knowing the exact answer.

As much as I love having all of these choices at our fingertips...I wish they didn't come with all of the emotion packaged in. I have been on both sides of the coin throughout my journey as a mom. Choices are important and essential but...having them can be even harder sometimes.